Dissecting Ron
by hazel-faerie
Summary: (Assignment for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry) - In which Harry muses upon Ron's betrayal, and delves into his best mate's character and mind.


_(Careers Advice Assignment for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry)_

What hurt most about the whole situation was the fact that he _missed_ him. He missed Ron's jokes, and his grumbles about various professors, students and homework assignments, and how he always took a great deal of pleasure in thoroughly thrashing Harry at wizard's chess. He missed the redhead's presence, and his arguments with Hermione. And how that _hurt_. He should be furious. He should never want to see the redhead again. He wished he felt like that. But all he felt was the hollow bitterness of betrayal and loneliness.

The rest of the school's isolation of him he could handle. It had happened before after all. But his friends had always stuck by him in that time. Made it bearable. But now that Ron had gone off in a fit of jealousy, Harry found himself truly alone. Hermione, the twins, Neville, Ginny…they all tried, _of_ _course_. But at the end of the day, they were not Ron. Hermione was always in the library. The twins and Ginny had different classes. And Neville was often in the greenhouses with Professor Sprout. Harry? He was left in desolation.

Harry had always known on some level that Ron had an inferiority complex and got jealous easily. He was hot-tempered and quick to become defensive at the slightest inclination that there was something wrong with him or that he was lesser in some way. It was, Harry realised, why he enjoyed beating Harry at chess so much. He couldn't beat Harry in wealth, fame, flying or even academically, but he could beat him chess. It was, he supposed, the one time where Ron wasn't in 'the great Harry Potter's shadow'.

A sharp pain bloomed in his lungs and breathing became suddenly difficult as Harry was finally forced to see the truth of Ron's character.

He was an immature boy who sought the material things that he had never had, such as fame, wealth or power, rather than appreciating what he did have: siblings, friends, _parents_. He was prejudice, and likely needed his prejudice to keep his ego afloat. After all, if Slytherins were scum and Dark Wizards than he was _better_ than them. He didn't try in class because it was easier to act 'cool' like he 'didn't care' than it was to apply actual effort and risk failing anyway. Besides, his older brothers had already done that, so he would still be in their shadow. Just another Weasley.

Ron could be fun, yes, and he wasn't an outright bully. But he didn't shy away from putting others down. He'd had Hermione hiding in the bathroom crying in first year after all, simply because he'd been mad and jealous she was better at Charms than him.

For all his faults, Ron wasn't all bad, Harry pointed out to himself. He _was_ brave, and had a decent moral compass, and was loyal- though where that loyalty was at present he had no idea, likely buried six feet under layers of jealousy- to his friends and family.

Where all of this came from, Harry knew. It was easy to work out now he had finally opened his eyes to Ron's faults. As the youngest boy of six brothers, and the second youngest of seven, in a family looked down upon because they were 'poor' and seen as 'blood traitors' by much of the upper class, it was only natural Ron would feel discouraged and be insecure. Wanting more for himself- as proven, Harry realised with a startling flashback, when Ron had looked into the Mirror of Erised. It wasn't too dissimilar to Hermione's need to prove that whilst she was a muggleborn, she wasn't any less of a witch than anyone else, and his own need to prove to himself the he wasn't a useless freak like the Dursleys had screamed at him since he had been left on their doorstep.

He sighed. But despite all of this justification- if he could call it that- he would never be able to look at Ron the same. Always have that little fear he wasn't dependable or trustworthy. He'd always have those doubts. Even if Ron came back, full of apologies, it wouldn't be the same, because Harry would know.

He would always know the truth about his friend.


End file.
